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Okay, how can you have a Military Bowl with no military teams in it? Oh well. Maryland (8-4) vs. East Carolina (6-6) Washington D.C. Dec. 29 2:30 p.m. ESPN zzzzzz…

Texas Bowl Wake me when it’s over. Illinois (6-6) vs. Baylor (7-5) Houston, Tex. Dec. 29 6 p.m. ESPN

Alamo Bowl Unlike the original Alamo, the Cowboys win this one big. Oklahoma State (10-2) vs. Arizona (7-5) San Antonio, Tex. Dec. 29 9:15 p.m. ESPN

Why is the Armed Forces Bowl in Fort Worth, Texas? There is nothing about that city that makes me think of the Armed Forces. It seems to me they are preying on our patriotism.  SMU (7-6) vs. Army (6-5)    Dec. 30 Noon ESPN

Pinstripe Bowl Who thought outdoor sports in New York City in December was a good idea? Football at Yankee Stadium has been done. It was boring. So are these teams. Kansas St. (7-5) vs. Syracuse (7-5) Bronx, N.Y. Dec. 30 3:20pm ESPN

Music City Bowl North Carolina disappointed to be 7-5 vs. Tennessee thrilled to be 6-6. Nashville, Tenn. LP Field Dec. 30 6:40pm ESPN

Holiday Bowl Oh, come on now! Hasn’t Washington’s Jake Locker (6-6) suffered enough from his stupid decision to return for his senior year? Nebraska (10-3) romps. San Diego Qualcomm Stadium Dec. 30 10pm ESPN

The Little Caesars Bowl in Detroit pitted Toledo (8-4) vs. Florida International (6-6) on a NFL Sunday the day after Christmas. Could you pick a worse time? Ford Field holds 65,000. The reported (i.e. alleged) attendance was 32,431.

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The Karma Bowl (aka: Independence Bowl) Last year the Georgia Tech (6-6) fans had a good laugh at Georgia for going to the Indy Bowl in Shreveport, La. The tables have turned, Nerds. Air Force (8-4) and GT are both running teams. So this game should be over by 7pm.    Dec. 27 ESPN 5pm

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Finally, some interesting games with worthier teams:

Champs Sports N.C. State (8-4) quarterback Russell Wilson had a breakout year throwing for 3,288 yards and 26 touchdowns. After three losing seasons, things finally seemed to be clicking for coach Tom O’Brien until the Terps lost the season finale to Maryland and the ACC Atlantic division title.  Despite being 9-3, West Virginia has been a bit of a disappointment. They were thought to be a lock for the conference champ in a weak Big East. But a 2-game hiccup in October dashed their hopes of a BCS game. The Mountaineers recently hired a coach-in-waiting, so who will the players listen to? Orlando, Fla. Dec. 28 6:30 p.m. ESPN

Insight I hope these two black & gold teams don’t get mixed up. Missouri (10-2) made some noise earlier in the season by upsetting #1 Oklahoma and going 7-0. Then reality set in with two straight Big XII losses (Nebraska, Texas Tech). Iowa (7-5) and QB Ricky Stanzi did not have the senior season they were hoping for. They hung the only loss on Michigan State this year but lost their last three (Northwestern, Ohio State, Minnesota). Tempe, Ariz. Dec. 28 10 p.m. ESPN

Hey, coach. Which team am I on again?

While waiting for an interesting bowl game to emerge, I got to thinking about Colorado‘s move to the Pac-10. Clearly this is “all about the Benjamins” i.e. money.

Geographically, the Colorado campus is much further from the other eleven Pac-10 conference members than from the Big XII campuses. So, there is no advantage there. Football-wise, overall the Big XII is stronger than the Pac-10, despite Oregon’s BCS Championship Game berth. I am guessing the CU accountants have bigger pull in Boulder than anyone else.

On the Pac-10′s side, they pick up the Denver TV market but little else competition-wise:

• Football – the Buffs have not had a winning season since 2005. They have not had less than 5 losses since 2001 when they went 10-3 and lost the Fiesta Bowl to Oregon 38-26.
• Men’s Basketball – one NCAA tournament appearance since 1997–1998. They have 78 losses the past four seasons (20, 20, 22, 16).
• Baseball – this is odd to me. The Pac-10 is a rich baseball conference. Yet, Colorado has NO baseball team. Also they have no hockey team. Colorado College is a national hockey power.
• Women’s Basketball – no significant accomplishments.
• Other – CU’s greatest successes has been in skiing and cross country. However, U. of Denver has won the last three championships.

The Florida International fans’ dilemma: “Okay, kids. What do you want to do for Christmas this year: go to the beach or go to the Little Caesars Bowl in Detroit? Okay. Don’t forget the suntan oil.” Toledo (8-4) vs. Florida International (6-6) Dec. 26 ESPN 8:30pm

The Karma Bowl (aka: Independence Bowl) Last year the Georgia Tech fans had a good laugh at Georgia fans for going to the Indy Bowl in Shreveport, La. The tables have turned, Nerds. Air Force (8-4) vs. Georgia Tech (6-6) Dec. 27 ESPN 5pm

If the St. Petersburg Bowl was played in Russia instead of Florida, I might be interested. But instead, I think I will get a head start on my taxes. The yard needs raking. Maybe I’ll take a nap. Louisville (6-6) vs. Southern Miss (8-4), Dec. 21 ESPN 8pm.

The Crybaby Bowl (aka: Maaco Las Vegas Bowl) pairs the two biggest BCS complainers in Utah (10-2) and Boise State (11-1). There is only one answer and listen good: PLAY A TOUGHER NON-CONFERENCE SCHEDULE! Dec. 22 ESPN 8pm.

The Poinsettia Bowl will have an interesting crowd. San Diego State (8-4) is going to their first bowl since 1998 on their home field. However, the USA’s biggest Naval base is also in San Diego. Rest assured there will be some boisterous sailors to cheer on Navy (8-3). Dec. 23 ESPN 8pm.

Hawaii Bowl How fair is it for a team to play a bowl game on their home field? Not very, but if you normally play football in a dust bowl, this is like a dream come true. Hawaii (10-3) vs. Tulsa (9-3), Dec. 24 ESPN 8pm.

What have we done to deserve this?

December 18 brings us the first three of 35 bowl games of the season and boy are they stinkers.

The Toilet Bowl (aka the New Mexico Bowl), Albuquerque, N.M. The poster child for too many bowls: BYU (6-6) vs. UTEP (6-6). I think I’d rather watch that video from “The Ring” but if you dare: ESPN 2pm.

The Freeze Your Nurtz Off Bowl (aka: Humanitarian Bowl) played on the most ridiculous field in America. Forecast for Boise, Idaho is a high of 35°F and 80% chance of snow. This is Northern Illinois‘ and Fresno State‘s punishment for thinking they are viable programs. ESPN 5:30pm.

The Unnecessary Bowl (aka the New Orleans Bowl) played – guess where – in a dump stadium in a dump city. Sorry to sound insensitive but Brangelina are mistaken. That city is through. If you go and value your life, do not stray too far outside the French Quarter. Troy vs. Ohio. ESPN 9pm

With 35 bowl games, 72 teams became bowl eligible.

2 left out:
W. Michigan – no big surprise at 6-6 – MAC
Temple – a small surprise in that they were 8-4. But, MAC had 4 teams with better overall+conf records. Nobody wants the 5th place MAC team in their bowl.

1 screwed themselves:
Arizona State upset Arizona to get to 6-6. However, two of their wins were against I-AA teams and count as one win. They filed a waiver but no dice. Schedule stronger, Sun Devils.

6-6 teams in bowl games:
Florida Intl – tied Troy for the Sun Belt championship – lamest conf ever.
Middle Tenn – #3 Sun Belt
E Carolina – C-USA had 6 bowl tie-ins. ECU was #5
UTEP -  #6 C-USA.
BYU – playing UTEP in the New Mexico Bowl, ugh.
Georgia
Georgia Tech
Illinois
Kentucky
Louisville
Tennessee
Washington
Clemson
Army – 6-5 and probably loses to Navy this Saturday.

1 loss is all it takes:
Boise will play Utah in the Maaco Bowl in Las Vegas on December 22. Fittingly enough, that is a Wednesday – one of their favorite days to play on.

10 Bowls we can do without:
New Mexico Bowl, Albuqurque, NM – BYU (6-6) vs. UTEP (6-6) – zzzzzzzzzz…
New Orleans Bowl, New Orleans, LA – Troy (7-5) vs. Ohio (8-4) – N.O. already has the Sugar Bowl. Do they really need another in that run down old relic?
St. Petersburg Bowl, St. Petersburg, FL – Louisville (6-6) vs. Southern Miss (8-4) – another crappy game in another crappy dome.
Military Bowl, Washington DC – Maryland (8-4) vs. East Carolina (6-6) – no offense to our armed forces but these two bowls are just useless.
Armed Forces Bowl, Fort Worth, TX – SMU (7-6) vs. Army (6-5) – I love our military but do we really need two of these bowls using up money that could go to the actual military?
Pinstripe Bowl, New York, N.Y – Syracuse (7-5) vs. Kansas State (7-5) – football in Yankee Stadium with two mediocre teams…yawn. Been there, done that.
GoDaddy.com Bowl, Mobile, AL – Miami (Ohio) (9-4) vs. Middle Tennessee State (6-6) – they will be lucky to half fill the stadium
BBVA Compass Bowl, Birmingham, AL – Pittsburgh (7-5) vs. Kentucky (6-6) – that name just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?
Humanitarian Bowl, Boise, ID – Northern Illinois (10-3) vs. Fresno State (8-4) – YES! Idaho in December! That is exactly where I want to be!
Little Caesars Bowl, Detroit, MI – Toledo (8-4) vs. Florida International (6-6) – Right, I am spending my Christmas in Detroit instead of Miami.

74½:
The over/under is for Auburn vs. Oregon is 74½. Take the over!