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35 Bowls, 70 slots, 54 teams locked in, 16 remain:

LOCKED INTO A BOWL GAME WITH 6 OR MORE WINS & CONFERENCE TIE-IN (54):

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6 OR MORE WINS BUT NOT NECESSARILY A LOCK (11):

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6 WINS BUT 2 WINS VS. I-AA SCHOOLS, HENCE INELIGIBLE (so far):

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STILL NEED 6 I-A WINS:

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PROBATION, NOT BOWL ELIGIBLE:

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NOT ENOUGH WINS, INELIGIBLE:

If the St. Petersburg Bowl was played in Russia instead of Florida, I might be interested. But instead, I think I will get a head start on my taxes. The yard needs raking. Maybe I’ll take a nap. Louisville (6-6) vs. Southern Miss (8-4), Dec. 21 ESPN 8pm.

The Crybaby Bowl (aka: Maaco Las Vegas Bowl) pairs the two biggest BCS complainers in Utah (10-2) and Boise State (11-1). There is only one answer and listen good: PLAY A TOUGHER NON-CONFERENCE SCHEDULE! Dec. 22 ESPN 8pm.

The Poinsettia Bowl will have an interesting crowd. San Diego State (8-4) is going to their first bowl since 1998 on their home field. However, the USA’s biggest Naval base is also in San Diego. Rest assured there will be some boisterous sailors to cheer on Navy (8-3). Dec. 23 ESPN 8pm.

Hawaii Bowl How fair is it for a team to play a bowl game on their home field? Not very, but if you normally play football in a dust bowl, this is like a dream come true. Hawaii (10-3) vs. Tulsa (9-3), Dec. 24 ESPN 8pm.

After last week’s snoozefest of games, we finally got some exciting games.

In the SEC, Auburn wins at Alabama 28-27 to stay undefeated. Arkansas upsets LSU 31-23 to possibly sneak their way into the Sugar Bowl. UGA and Tennessee both win to become bowl eligible.

Going Bowling:

SEC will again send ten teams to bowl games. The Pac 10 currently has THREE teams bowl eligible. Oregon State would need a miracle win over #2 Oregon to get to 6 wins. Washington has to win at Washington State.

SEC – 10

ACC – 9

Big Ten – 8

Big XII – 8

Pac 10 – 3

To date, there are 35 bowls and 70 bowl eligible teams including such 6-win stalwarts as UTEP, Western Michigan, Florida International and Troy.

Army (Armed Forces), Navy (Poinsettia) and Air Force (tba) will all go bowling. Congratulations to our awesome military academies!

Teams that needed a home win to become bowl eligible and lost:

Texas A&M defeated Texas 24-17 in Austin. Sad.

All Louisiana-Monroe had to do was beat lowly La.-Lafayette (3-9). Laffers win 23-22.

Cal and shifty head coach Jeff Tedford lose in Berkeley to Washington (5-6) 16-13.

Now to the fun part: the HAHA awards.

Top HAHA this week goes to Boise who lost to Nevada 34-31. God bless the Wolfpack for exposing these imposters. You did not belong. Now go away.

Georgia Tech (6-6) fans got pretty cocky after beating UGA in 2008 and then winning the ACC in 2009. It’s been all downhill from there. The Jackets lost their second straight to a weak Georgia (6-6) team who was looking to become bowl eligible 42-34.

Miami loses to South Florida? At home? Pathetic.

Rich Rodriguez might be on his way out in Ann Arbor finishing 7-5 and losing yet again to Ohio State 37-7. This was the Buckeyes 7^th straight win over Michigan.

Kansas finished 3-9 under coach Turner Gill. Professional loudmouth Charles Barkley called Auburn racist for not hiring Gill. I think things turned out okay for the Tigers.

Mixed feelings HAHA of the Week:

Despite three Notre Dame interceptions and a fumble, Lame Kiffin and his uninspired USC Trojans lost to the Irish in L.A. 20-16. Both teams finish 7-5.

Game of the WEAK:
Buffalo (2-10) feeling charitable, allowed Akron to get their first and only win of the season 22-14.

This was an odd weekend. There were not a lot of high profile games and no real upsets.

Several teams were on the brink of big upsets and blew it:

#5 LSU survived Ole Miss 43-36. The Rebels led 36-35 with under 5 to play.

#17 Iowa seemed pretty content to lead #9 Ohio State 17-10 in the 4^th because they could not stop the Buckeye offense after that while twice going three-and-out. Final: OSU 20 Iowa 17.

San Diego State was up on #23 Utah 34-24 but details are what usually separate good teams from not so good teams. After the Utes cut the lead to 3, they blocked a 4^th quarter punt and recovered it on the 3 yard line. You know what’s next.

Purdue on the brink of a big win over #12 Michigan State blew a 15 point 4^th quarter lead. The Spartans took the win 35-31.

HAHAs:

#8 Nebraska proved once again, they are NOTHING without quarterback Taylor Matrinez. Texas A&M wins 9-6.

The Big 10 looked like chumps this week. With Illinois playing Northwestern at Wrigley Field, it should have been a great celebration of college football, but they turned it into big friggin’ joke. First was the release of photos of the playing field showing one end line ¼ of a stride from a brick wall. Then the Big 10, Illinois and Northwestern officials knocked their three stooges heads together two days before kickoff and decided it was unsafe – this coming months after all had approved everything. Both teams were forced to attack the west end zone – even on a Northwestern interception return, the refs made the Wildcats go to the other end to kick the extra point – as well as sharing a sideline. The Big 10 looked like idiots.

I cannot sign-off without throwing out the HAHA of the Week: Lame Kiffin and his lame-o daddy D-coordinator lost to Oregon State 36-7. Pat Haden would be best served to give Kiffin and his goons (coaching staff) pink slips and start fresh in 2011.

I predicted that Oklahoma would lose. I just didn’t expect it so soon! Mizzou plays a perfect game at home 36-27. UO will still lose the Big XII championship game to Nebraska.

Notre Dame dominated by Navy in a game played in Giants Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ 35-17. There’s nothing like a high-profile game to expose your weaknesses.

Hey! How did a Big Least team sneak their way into the rankings?! Shoo! SHOO! West Virginia goes down to Syracuse at home 19-14.

I am not sure if Texas deserves a HHAHA. A “WTF’’ might be more appropriate. Last years BCS runner-up loses its third game in four. This time it is to unranked Iowa State 28-21. The one victory in that span was against Nebraska who was #5 at the time.

Georgia Tech got all full of themselves after beating weenie teams Wake Forest, Virginia and Middle Tennessee. Clemson smacked them back down to earth 27-13.

This just in, Boise is still a joke.

I didn’t expect #1 Ohio State to lose this soon nor this easily. #18 Wisconsin in the upset 31-18. This is what happens when you depend on the QB to provide all the offense (see Michigan, Nebraska, Auburn, Virginia Tech).

#5 Nebraska got a might bit too big for their own britches. They were already looking ahead to the Big XII Championship game in December. Unranked Texas, loser of two in a row, had other ideas 20-13. This is what happens when you depend on the QB to provide all the offense (see Michigan, Ohio State, Auburn, Virginia Tech).

A week after playing a perfect game vs. former #1 Alabama, #10 South Carolina lays a big fat egg to Kentucky who had just lost three straight.

Did you see the “Evil Genius” (aka: Steve Spurrier) at the end of the SC-UK game?? He pulled a Les Miles:
Down 31-28, 1st & 10 at UK’s 20 yd line with 11 seconds AND THE CLOCK ALREADY STOPPED, he calls his final timeout! After that, pretty much the only play you can call is a pass into the end zone. It was intercepted – game over.

Urban Meyer and #22 Florida lost their 3^rd straight game. Mississippi State wins in “the Swamp” 10-7. Well, I guess Tebow was pretty important to that program after all, huh?

Somebody tell me HOW IN THE HELL did #19 Nevada (loss to Hawaii) and #23 Air Force (loss to San Diego State) get ranked. Ridiculous.

When are folks going to stop believing Oregon State (#24) is ever going to do anything worthwhile? The go to 3-3 after losing to Washington 35-34.

BCS:

I don’t get this. How does Oklahoma get the top spot? They beat Utah State by 7, Air Force by 3 and Cincinnati by 2. I am unimpressed. I predict they lose AT LEAST one regular season game and the Big XII championship game to Nebraska.

As always, Boise is a joke.

#1 Bama loses badly to S Carolina. Don’t count the Tide out just yet.

Were you as sick of the Denard Robinson hype as I was? Thank goodness for Michigan State. The Spartans held the frosh QB to 86 yards on 21 rushes and intercepted him three times for a 34-17 upset in Ann Arbor.

How did Arizona get to #9? The Wildcats lose at home to unranked Oregon State 29-27.

Every time people get high on the Miami bandwagon, the team lays an egg. #23 Florida State routs the #13 ‘Canes in Miami 45-17.

Idiotic Colorado fans rushed the field after beating 1-4 UGA last week. The Buffaloes followed up this magic act with a 26-0 loss to Mizzou.

Southern Cal and their weak defense loses to Stanford 37-35. Can’t you just imagine the Monday morning coaches meeting between Lame Kiffin and his daddy, the defensive coordinator?

In the Game of the Weak, two of the worst teams in I-A faced off with the winner getting their first win. If you were strong enough to stay awake through the game, New Mexico State – who the week before lost to Boise 59-0 – snoozed its way to a 16-14 win over New Mexico.

We forgot the Week One HaHa Awards.

The top honor goes to Kansas for losing to tiny North Dakota State. ($25,000 if you could name NDSU’s mascot or colors before that game.) Also sharing this award is Charles Barkley who said Auburn was being racist for not hiring Turner Gill.
2nd place goes to Jake Locker and the overhyped Washington Huskies who lost to BYU 23-17.

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Ironically, this week’s HaHa Award goes to Georgia Tech who lost to Week 1 winner, Kansas. The Tech nerds have been talking smack all summer about their team and all this “Nesbitt for Heisman” nonsense.

More HaHas:

Boise State/Va Tech – Boise’s win over Va Tech is not looking so good anymore after the Hokies lose to adorable li’l James Madison.

The ACC – GT, VT, FSU, Miami – all with high profile losses.

Minnesota gives up 444 yds losing to South Dakota at home (quick: mascot or colors?).

In Memphis, the Tigers head coach grew a pair and benched the Fedex heir Cannon Smith – yes, his name is “Cannon” – after he threw an early pick 6 and fumbled a handoff vs ECU. They lost 49-27. Smith’s daddy warbucks is a huge Memphis booster and founder of Fedex.

***And back by popular demand, a crowd favorite, a BIG HAHA goes out to the 4-point favored Notre Dame as they go down to Michigan in South Bend. Ahh, that felt good.

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