Okay, how can you have a Military Bowl with no military teams in it? Oh well. Maryland (8-4) vs. East Carolina (6-6) Washington D.C. Dec. 29 2:30 p.m. ESPN zzzzzz…

Texas Bowl Wake me when it’s over. Illinois (6-6) vs. Baylor (7-5) Houston, Tex. Dec. 29 6 p.m. ESPN

Alamo Bowl Unlike the original Alamo, the Cowboys win this one big. Oklahoma State (10-2) vs. Arizona (7-5) San Antonio, Tex. Dec. 29 9:15 p.m. ESPN

Why is the Armed Forces Bowl in Fort Worth, Texas? There is nothing about that city that makes me think of the Armed Forces. It seems to me they are preying on our patriotism.  SMU (7-6) vs. Army (6-5)    Dec. 30 Noon ESPN

Pinstripe Bowl Who thought outdoor sports in New York City in December was a good idea? Football at Yankee Stadium has been done. It was boring. So are these teams. Kansas St. (7-5) vs. Syracuse (7-5) Bronx, N.Y. Dec. 30 3:20pm ESPN

Music City Bowl North Carolina disappointed to be 7-5 vs. Tennessee thrilled to be 6-6. Nashville, Tenn. LP Field Dec. 30 6:40pm ESPN

Holiday Bowl Oh, come on now! Hasn’t Washington’s Jake Locker (6-6) suffered enough from his stupid decision to return for his senior year? Nebraska (10-3) romps. San Diego Qualcomm Stadium Dec. 30 10pm ESPN

In the SEC, Auburn wins at Alabama 28-27 to stay undefeated. Arkansas upsets LSU 31-23 to possibly sneak their way into the Sugar Bowl. UGA and Tennessee both win to become bowl eligible.

Going Bowling:

SEC will again send ten teams to bowl games. The Pac 10 currently has THREE teams bowl eligible. Oregon State would need a miracle win over #2 Oregon to get to 6 wins. Washington has to win at Washington State.

SEC – 10

ACC – 9

Big Ten – 8

Big XII – 8

Pac 10 – 3

To date, there are 35 bowls and 70 bowl eligible teams including such 6-win stalwarts as UTEP, Western Michigan, Florida International and Troy.

Army (Armed Forces), Navy (Poinsettia) and Air Force (tba) will all go bowling. Congratulations to our awesome military academies!

Teams that needed a home win to become bowl eligible and lost:

Texas A&M defeated Texas 24-17 in Austin. Sad.

All Louisiana-Monroe had to do was beat lowly La.-Lafayette (3-9). Laffers win 23-22.

Cal and shifty head coach Jeff Tedford lose in Berkeley to Washington (5-6) 16-13.

Now to the fun part: the HAHA awards.

Top HAHA this week goes to Boise who lost to Nevada 34-31. God bless the Wolfpack for exposing these imposters. You did not belong. Now go away.

Georgia Tech (6-6) fans got pretty cocky after beating UGA in 2008 and then winning the ACC in 2009. It’s been all downhill from there. The Jackets lost their second straight to a weak Georgia (6-6) team who was looking to become bowl eligible 42-34.

Miami loses to South Florida? At home? Pathetic.

Rich Rodriguez might be on his way out in Ann Arbor finishing 7-5 and losing yet again to Ohio State 37-7. This was the Buckeyes 7^th straight win over Michigan.

Kansas finished 3-9 under coach Turner Gill. Professional loudmouth Charles Barkley called Auburn racist for not hiring Gill. I think things turned out okay for the Tigers.

Mixed feelings HAHA of the Week:

Despite three Notre Dame interceptions and a fumble, Lame Kiffin and his uninspired USC Trojans lost to the Irish in L.A. 20-16. Both teams finish 7-5.

Game of the WEAK:
Buffalo (2-10) feeling charitable, allowed Akron to get their first and only win of the season 22-14.

HAHA to Utah for losing two in a row, to TCU and  to Notre Dame?! Wow, you must be bad to lose to a team who lost to Tulsa. Utah has a possibility of losing three in a row when they face San Diego State (7-3). Too bad Boise doesn’t have a schedule like this.

Speaking of losing three in a row, the Ramblin’ Wreck has done broke! Three straight L’s for Georgia Tech: Clemson, Virginia Tech and Miami. If they are not careful and do not look ahead to the showdown with UGA, Duke will make it four.

Speaking of Duke, they peed on Virginia’s parade. After beating Miami and going to 4-4, they were feeling pretty good about bowl eligibility. Then they rolled over for Duke and Maryland. UVa ends the season at Virginia Tech. Call it. Time of death, November 6, 2010, 3:00pm.

Some stupid people started talking up Baylor just because they beat Texas. Well, who hasn’t beaten Texas? After sitting at 7-2 and ranked #25, the Bears ran smack into Big XII reality with back-to-back losses to Oklahoma State and Texas A&M by a collective score of 97-58.

Jake Locker, is this why you came back for your senior year? The Washington Huskies (3-6) quarterback turned down being picked #1 in the 2010 NFL draft and millions of dollars so that he could get the crap kicked out of him for free.

Somehow, the Arizona Wildcats made it to 7-2 and ranked #15. Stanford and Southern Cal changed all that. Up next, #1 Oregon. Welcome back to also-ran status.

Last week, Kansas State and UCF snuck their way into the Top 25 and abruptly lost. What is this? Everybody Gets a Trophy Day?